Talk Dirty To Me
by lil-miss-chocolate
Summary: Glee Kink Meme fill: Puck/Kurt, Poison's Talk Dirty To Me


Title: Talk Dirty To Me

Author: little-miss-choc

Rating: NC17

Characters: Puck/Kurt.

Genre: Romance

Warning: Language. Sexy stuff. Top!Kurt discussed.

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: If I had anything to do with the actual running of Glee, far fewer clothes would be worn by all concerned.

Word Count: 2,300 ish

Summary: Fic based on Poison's _Talk Dirty To Me_. Fill for prompt on the glee_kink_meme

Author Notes: Apologies to all those waiting for the next part of Perils Of A British Boarding School; I'm having some real issues translating ideas into actual text.

_

* * *

You know I never_

_I never seen you look so good_

Kurt Hummel entered the choir room for their lunchtime rehearsal, a long black cape covering his clothing. He was wearing over-the-top stage makeup, and Puck thought he could see a pair of very high heels on his feet, just visible beneath the sweep of the cloak.

Kurt strode to the centre of the room. Mr Schue had just announced that Kurt and a few of the girls would be singing a song from the one of the biggest cult musicals of all time. Puck had no idea what song it would be, but the makeup was not what you'd expect from your standard Broadway musical.

Kurt took centre stage, Mercedes and Quinn standing behind him on either side. Quinn was wearing a gold sequinned jacket, Mercedes a maid's outfit. A slutty maid's outfit.

The band played the first two notes, then paused for Kurt to speak-sing the first few lines.

"How d'you do? I

See you've met my

Faithful

Handyman."

The seductive wiggle Kurt gave, and the truly _filthy_ look he threw Puck, during the word 'handyman' should be illegal, Puck decided. Also, was that a fucking _English accent_?

"He's just a little brought down because

When you knocked

He thought you were the candyman."

Fuck, he wiggled again. As he did it, the front of the cape split slightly. Puck thought he saw a glimpse of bare stomach and sequins.

"Don't get strung out

By the way I look;

Don't judge a book by its cover."

Kurt dragged out the last note of 'cover' and swayed his hips as he did so. His eyes smouldered as he looked around the room.

"I'm not much of a man

By the light of day."

You got that right, Puck thought. The only thing less manly than Kurt (other than the girls) was… was…

He couldn't even complete the comparison. There was nothing less manly than Kurt.

"But by night I'm one hell of a lover."

Kurt's seductive eyes met Puck's as he held the long 'lover'. Oh fuck. Now Puck was wondering how experienced the boy would be in bed. A hesitant virgin? A ferocious wildcat? Puck had to find out. He pictured those eyes gazing up him, lust-filled and worshipping.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite!"

Kurt threw off the cloak.

"From Transexual, Transylvania!"

Holy mother fucking God. Kurt was wearing a black corset trimmed with red sequins, a pair of very tight fitting black underpants, fishnet stockings, six inch heels, a pearl necklace _and fuck all else_. He had never looked so good.

_You never act the way you should_

_But I like it_

Kurt had finished the song to raucous applause and cheering. He smiled and acknowledged it as he headed to his seat. He spent the rest of the practice just sitting there; legs, arms and waist practically bare as he watched the others perform.

When the bell rang, all the Glee clubbers got up to leave. All except Puck, who was fighting down a semi-hard-on from watching Kurt's captivating legs, all long and inviting wrapped up in those barely there stockings.

As Kurt reached the door, he stumbled, dropping his books on the floor. Mercedes stopped to help him, but he waved her away, saying that she had a lesson to get to, while he only had a study period.

Puck managed to walk over and volunteer to help. Kurt smiled at him gratefully, and they gathered up the collection of English homework and sheet music. Kurt went to walk out of the door, but Puck stopped him.

"You can't go out there like that! You'll be eaten alive."

"Puck, I survived Gaga without too many bruises. I can do Rocky Horror. Even straight guys are allowed to like Rocky Horror."

"But look at you! You're wearing, like, _nothing_."

Kurt sighed. "Is that a problem for you, Puck?"

"No, it's just…" Puck groaned. "You know what Azimio and Karofsky'll do to you, right?"

"I'm used to it. Now will you let me go?"

Puck lowered his arm from where it had been blocking the doorway, and watched Kurt stalk out into the corridor. There was nothing more attractive than a badass, right? And Hummel - he had badassery by the bucket load.

_And I know you like it too_

_The way that I want you_

Prior to the Rocky Horror rehearsal, Puck had never really noticed Kurt. But after seeing those legs and imagining them wrapped around him… he spent more time than he thought was really wise watching them.

He hadn't thought that he'd been _that_ obvious, though. Kurt had stopped him one day after Glee.

"Puck, why are you always checking me out?"

"Uh…" Puck was reeling. Great, he thought, what an intelligent reply.

"I'm waiting." Kurt was looking at him with an uncompromising expression. "Is it just some 'trick the gay kid into thinking I'm interested then prank him' thing? Or is it a 'let's freak him out by thinking I'm actually into him' thing? 'Cos I warn you now, it's not gonna work."

"Oh… well, I just liked looking at you, I guess. You're kind of eye-catching, and kinda sexy."

"Oh… that's… um… unexpected…" Kurt flailed for words. Puck placed a finger on Kurt's lips to silence him.

"You're hot. You don't care what people think of you, and your legs are, like, fifty miles long. What's not to like?"

Kurt smiled at him from under his finger. Shyly, but still a genuine smile. "You really think?"

Puck grinned his trademark leer, "I really think."

_I gotta have you_

_Oh yes, I do_

Puck smirked once more and walked out of the door, leaving behind a very confused Kurt. Oh yes, Hummel, Puck thought, the Puckatron is about to make you his.

_You know I never_

_I never ever stay out late_

_You know that I can hardly wait_

_Just to see you_

Puck had no idea how he had gone from badass stud to completely pussy-whipped in a matter of weeks. Well, cock-whipped. Ever since he'd first asked Kurt out ("Hey, hot stuff. How'd you like a ride on the Puckerman Express? Tonight, my place.") and Kurt's hastily recovered icy persona had responded ("I don't put out on a first date, Puckerman. Take me out to dinner, maybe a movie, and then we'll see about any 'riding'.") he'd been at Kurt's beck and call.

Puck hadn't gone out with his friends once since they'd got together. He had no reason to – the opportunity to spend time with Kurt was too good to miss. Kurt was witty, catty, smart and strong (not to mention motherfucking _sexy_). Puck would happily spend three hours trailing round the mall if it meant he got to watch Kurt take his clothes on and off. Repeatedly. And when they got ice creams afterwards, they would sit in the food court and comment on the passers-by (Puck would usually admire their physical attributes, whereas Kurt would bitch about their clothing, but it was a nice bonding moment all the same).

At the moment, though, Puck was lying on his bed, cell phone on his bedside table, just waiting for the phone call from Kurt that would tell him to come over. It had been half an hour since he'd got in from school – it wouldn't be much longer.

_And I know you cannot wait_

_Wait to see me too_

_I gotta touch you_

His phone beeped. Puck grabbed it and snapped it to his ear.

"Hey, babe."

"Hello, Noah. Come over? My dad's out from seven 'til late; I can pick you up now and we can go to the drive in 'til he goes out. I can't wait to get you naked."

Oh yeah, did Puck forget to mention the _amazing_ sex?

_Cause baby we'll be_

_At the drive-in_

_In the old man's Ford_

_Behind the bushes_

_Until I'm screamin' for more_

"Oh God, Noah. _More!_"

Kurt was sprawled out on the backseat of his dad's old Ford (after Burt had taken away Kurt's Lincoln, he'd reluctantly handed over the keys to his beat up old Ford when Kurt needed transportation). His head was thrown back as Noah thrust his hand down the front of Kurt's skinny jeans.

"Uhhh…" Kurt managed to utter as Puck rubbed him through his underpants. He was seriously considering breaking his 'Pants stay on in the car' rule in favour of 'Let's just fucking do it right here'.

Unluckily for Puck, Kurt's phone started to beep.

"Wha-?" Kurt said dazedly.

Puck leaned forward to plant a kiss on Kurt's lips. "It's you phone, babe. You set the alarm so we'd know when your dad had left."

"Oh…" It took a moment for Kurt to recover his senses enough to scramble into the driver's seat. "Let's get going, then!"

Puck spent most of the journey to Kurt's holding onto whatever secure handles he could find, Kurt was driving that fast.

"Uh, babe, don't you think you're going a bit fast?" He wouldn't normally comment, but he was pretty sure they'd run over at least three cats so far.

"The faster we get there, the sooner we can fuck."

A good point. Who cared about a few cats?

_Down the basement_

_Lock the cellar door_

_And baby_

_Talk dirty to me_

Kurt all but pushed Noah down the stairs and turned to lock the basement door. He almost tripped himself in his haste to join Noah on the bed.

"God, Noah, I've been thinking about this all day. You don't even want to know what I was thinking about during Mr Hooper's English class."

"I'm guessing not Mr Hooper?"

"I was thinking of you, naked, spread out on my bed. Thinking of sucking your cock, long firm licks like I know you like, then swallowing you down. Thinking of fucking you into the mattress, up against the wall, over the couch, on the floor. Thinking of you riding me until neither of us can see straight."

Clothes were being rapidly removed throughout this speech. As soon at Puck was naked, Kurt pounced onto him, kiss him fiercely at first, the two boys wrestling to be as close to each other as possible. They seemed to fit together perfectly as they ground against each other, thrusting and groaning. Kurt came quickly, Puck straight after him, spilling over their stomachs. They both knew that they had hours to get things up again. Once they'd both come once, they knew they could keep it up for hours.

Kurt's kisses became softer, more caring as Puck held him close. He had such a tender look in his eyes as he pulled back that it almost caused Puck to gasp.

"I love you so much," Kurt whispered, gazing into the depths of his lover's eyes.

It was at these moments, when time seemed to stand still, that Noah felt truly at peace. Most of the time, any deeper feelings they had for each other were just brushed over and passed aside. To the world at large their relationship seemed almost entirely sexual. Only times like these, when their clothes had gone, and all their hang ups and worries about reputation could be ignored, did they realise just how much they meant to each other.

"Love you," Noah whispered back, holding Kurt's gaze with his own. For a moment, all was still, then a wicked grin spread across Puck's face. "Now what was it you were thinking about in English, again?"

_You know I call you_

_I call you on the telephone_

_I'm only hoping that you're home_

_So I can hear you_

"Hi, Mr Hummel, is Kurt in?"

Please let him be in, thought Puck. Please don't make me have to have another conversation with his dad about his ideas for alternative uses of tyre irons. Namely, inserting them in me.

"Is this Puckerman?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hmph," with which noise, Burt left the phone to yell down to Kurt's room, "Puckerman's on the phone for ya!"

Puck heard a distant, "Thanks, Dad!" before there were several clicks, and he heard Kurt's breathless voice, "Hi Noah. What is it?"

"Just wanted to hear your voice."

Kurt laughed affectionately (and a little exasperatedly) at the other end of the line. "Well, that's very sweet, Noah, but I have so much English homework I don't even know where to begin with it right now. Can I call you later?"

"Sure thing, babe. Was great to hear from you."

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes as he put the phone down. Meanwhile, Puck laid back on his bed and grimaced slightly. Yeah, totally whipped.

_When you say those words to me_

_And whisper so softly_

_I gotta hear you_

"_Noah_."

The way Kurt said his name gave him shivers. It was amazing how Kurt could have such an affect on him without even being in the same room.

"Kurt…" Puck's stopped speaking off as he heard a sharp intake of breath on the line.

"Oh, Noah… I can't stop thinking of you…" Kurt's breathy voice sounded in his ear.

"Really, babe?"

"Mmm… I'm naked and just imagining…" Kurt's voice trailed off.

Puck would have given anything for him to finish that sentence. "What are you doing, babe?"

"Ohhh…"

Puck heard the familiar sound of skin rubbing against skin.

"What do you think I'm doing, Noah?" The words came silkily down the line.

"I think you're imagining my mouth on your cock, remembering what it feels like when I blow your mind out. I think you're imagining sinking your cock into me, filling me up and fucking me as I beg for more."

"Oh, yesss… Noah, _talk dirty to me._"

'_Cause baby we'll be_

_At the drive-in_

_In the old man's Ford_

_Behind the bushes_

_Until I'm screamin' for more_

_Down the basement_

_Lock the cellar door_

_And baby_

_Talk dirty to me_

Puck didn't really care that he was completely whipped; he had Kurt Hummel, his boyfriend, the best fuck in the world. And man, could that boy talk dirty.

**

* * *

I find it mildly amusing that the girl Poison are singing about is called CC. Which are the initials of the guy who plays Kurt.**

**Oh, and brownies for you if you spotted the Red Dwarf reference.**


End file.
